Being a Parent

When a person thinks of being a parent, they think of holding a soft sweet baby, of warm squishy moments and all the wonderful ways that they can love the child or children. Becoming a parent is a wonderful thing. It changes everything about you, and teaches you so much about life and all the little things. Somewhere though, something got lost.

We forgot that the word "Being" in Being a Parent is a verb. It is an action word. You have to DO things, and everything you do matters. Our children are little video recorders. And everything they see and hear WILL be repeated again in the future. This is equally true for your good habits and traits as it is for your bad ones. They also see how we handle things, emotions, and unexpected interuptions. They see our actions, they hear our words, they are constantly cross checking the 2 and noticing how they line up (or don't). This too, they will mirror later, and possibly have to overcome.

Being a parent is doing the right thing, all the time. It is talking constantly to the child, and understanding how they think, and knowing how they will need guidence towards their goals. Being a parent is speaking kindly to them, even when you are frustrated and frazzled, even when you are repeating the last 5 things you said 50 times, even when they break the gravy bowl to that china set Nana gave you, even when you can't possibly understand what they are whining and stamping thier little feet about.

Being a parent is about asking the hard questions, setting reasonable boundries, and understanding how natural consequences can help you teach the lesson. Being a parent is modeling good manners, behavior, and even thought patterns out loud, so that the children knows how things should look. Being a parent is putting your foot down, taking a stand, and doing it with love and respect not degradation or veral spewing.

Being a parent isn't supposed to be easy. It is not about just being their friend, either. Yes, you do have to have a friendship, an active relationship with your children, but it shouldn't look like their peer to peer friendships. You are their first teacher, their mentor, their guide in this big, harsh, crazy world. You set the tone for the rest of their life.

Being a parent is about love, trust, respect, guidence, hard work, consistency, and dedication. It doesn't stop when they can drink from a cup. It doesn't stop when they can text their friends. It doesn't stop after they get their licence, or graduate high school. It doesn't stop. Ever.

You are always going to be the model and example of what ___ age is supposed to look like. How do you want their lives to look in 20 years? How can you set them on the path for that to happen? Do you realize, they too have to want this goal... so find out who they are, and where they are going... and build a WONDERFUL foundation for them to build upon.