Precious little Butterfly Feet

Image from last summer. Penguin spent a good 20 minutes flirting with Flutters, much to her enjoyment.

A few days ago, I asked my friends on FB what kinds of things I should blog about. I was hoping they might have things they wanted to hear more about, and was surprised by some of the answers. Answers ranged from Large Family Living, to EB, to G*d, to gardening and more. I wrote all these ideas onto my notebook, so that I can write when I am offline too. I'll slowly cover each topic as I am able to. Some topics will flow easily, while others will struggle with each sentence.

So, what shall I write upon today? I could write about the energetic Jumping Bean that is chanting "Mine. Mine. Mine. WEEE! Mine. Mine. Ma. WEEE!!" as she climbs up the end of the bed, grabs my blanket and quickly slides off and onto the floor. I could write about the health of my family, and how we have been sick one way or another since November. During about a week of reprieve, my back went out, and made life interesting. I could write about how I am cooking these days, to keep from roasting the house in this 82*F spring weather, but that might be mean, since half my friends are under several inches of snow on this beautiful spring day.

Warning, below are some graphic pictures of wounds. If you are not able to handle those kinds of photos, I suggest you click away now, and go read on of my older posts. :)

I do have a large family. I have 5 children, 1 step child, and an extra child or 2 that come for watching while their mothers are working. In a nation where the "normal" is 1 or MAYBE 2 children, 5 is a HUGE family. To me, it doesn't seem that way though. There are people missing. Well, my stepdaughter is missing, for one. The rest of the missing people I have no clue who they are. When my house is so full, that it is bursting at the seams, I can still feel a quiet tug "Someone is missing". I count heads, quickly making sure I know where everyone is. My head count is right, but my heart says differently.

When it is busy, and things get a bit messy, accidents can happen. Sometimes people don't look where they are going, or get in too much of a hurry, that they cannot see around them. When this happens, someone gets hurt. With the older kids, injuries are more easily dealt with. I do not have to convince them to let me do things to their hurting limbs. They have already learned that if I take care of it, it will stop hurting faster, and they can resume their fun. But with little Flutters, it is not that easy.

She knows that she hurts. She desperately wants Momma to take away all the pain, and to magically make her all better, without using scary tools like scissors and needles on her body. For the last 2 years, this has been a horrid battle of wits, and tears. I absolutely HAVE to tend the wounds, drain them, and bandage them. Wounds like this one, if left alone, can grow and grow, painfully separating the layers of the skin, and filling up in a vicious cycle.



You can see at the edges how these 2 wounds had filled too full, and started traveling. This process is painful too, but I discover these kinds of wounds late in the night, when she is kicking and whimpering in her sleep. I have to tend them immediately, so that her pain is stopped.



In these photos, her feet were actually looking pretty good, except for the big blood blister. These days, they are looking very raggedy. She tries so hard to keep up with her brother and Jumping Bean. I do all I can for her precious feet, but it is not enough. She has lost several toenails, and the shape of her big toes has changed some from the scarring. There are no shoes she can wear that I have found yet. Socks do not protect her tender feet near enough, and I grimace every night when I take them off her, afraid of what damage I will find hidden under them. I buy white socks, but by the end of each day, I am lucky if they are just brown or black from the dirt, but sometimes they are red and brown from the blood seeping through bandages or even from new injuries that she didn't complain about at the time it happened.

WHen the wound care is done, no matter how much she fights me, or how much she screams, the moment that last bit is secured, and I am done, she looks up at me with her blue tear filled eyes, and says the best words ever:

"Thank you momma. I feel better, so much better" and she starts singing her Doc Stuffin's theme song.