May Morning Musings

This morning has been quiet and fun. I woke up at 6 am to the 2 youngest crawling in bed with me, and took care of their morning requests, while they drifted back to sleep. Since my mind was already spinning with ideas and thoughts for the day, I went out and filled my coffee mug. I had thought ahead last night, and set it to turn on at 6:00 am, By the time I "found" it, it was warm and ready for me. I am always a little happier when I can bypass the microwave.

I poked my morning things, checked on my stats, and approved a comment. Ahh! I had no idea how much a kind comment on one of my posts can warm my heart! <3 I poked my morning games as I listened to the stirrings of the house. The dogs were patrolling the yard for invading birds and squirrels and coming in to report to the sleeping master. The bathroom was a cacophony of destruction from the playful antics of the 3 kittens. Giggles, mumbles and half-hearted cries of protest would escape the small slumbering forms around me. At 8 am, it was time to feed the kittens, and we had them fed in the kitchen before allowing them their play and roam time. Somehow, that turns into hiding kitten sleeping time, and none can be found for hours. Patience, focus, and remembering the rules is exceptionally hard when there is a fluffy kitten playing peek-a-boo when you are only 4 and 2. I had to coax the stripey one out, I am working on human desensitization with him, and I had to scoop and remove the other 2 kittens from stealing his food.... They were all surprised, him the most, because of once the big fast hands weren't after him. *grin* It's all about making friends.

After the house was up, and my hunny was off on his way to work, I put together the plan I had been working towards. I pulled out the bin of middle sized interlocking blocks for the kids to play with. I pulled out the specialty pieces and put together a few of the trees and things. By the time I had discovered all of the vehicle bottoms, I had 3 kids all around the table, building and exchanging parts and one wandering around with her favorite Puppy piece.

I went out and Ladybug came and inspected the garden with me. She exclaimed over the one cherry tomato turning yellow, and thought about what that might mean. We noted the differences in the leaves of the plants that we were having trouble with, how the old growth looked pale or crumpled, and how the new growth was dark green and healthy. We estimated how much good growth there was, and counted flowers on various plants. I added Epsom salt, coffee grounds and crushed egg shells to the soil (in addition to yesterday's crushed antacid tablets).

Now I have the hose watering the yard for me. Yup, I locked into the on position, and set it on a stand as an instant mister and yard watering devise. The leaky spots water other areas, and one is filling the paddling pool. By Wednesday, the ground should be perfect for setting up the campground. The kids are getting excited; they cannot focus on anything else because of it. That reminds me, I need to go turn off the water in the front yard. I am sure the baby tree and full front section is good and watered by now.

We have more projects to do, more plans to think up, more lists to write, and tasks to mark off. I expect that this week will be hard work, and yet worth every moment. I think the best part is that camping has no reception, so even if they did smuggle electronics, I have the WiFi password, and all the chargers. HEHEHEHEHE (Yea, I know it's in our backyard. We are going to have fun. Consider it a dry run for later.)

I need more dirt for my garden....

Toddler Stages: "Mine!"

Early this morning, while I was waking up, I was scrolling through my FB news feed, seeing what's happened since I went to bed. I know I am not alone in this morning ritual. I get my coffee, I check the weather and the calendar, turn off the morning alarm, and sit down to sip my steaming brew. It's easy enough to find myself "liking" several photos, articles, and various posts from my friends on the other side (country or world). If I get up early enough, I get to see the posts made in the late night hours from my Australian friends, and catch posts from Europe as they are shared. I enjoy this time, as my family is all still deep asleep, and I can just be.

This morning, I came across this gem:



We've all seen this, and laughed. We can easily identify with this, as we have ALL seen a 2 year old at one point or another. Sometimes, their understanding of their little world is so stinkin' cute! Unfortunately, some of us have also seen this mentality in grown adults. I can assure you, it is most definitely NOT cute at 15, 25, 45, or even 85!

Developmentally, the "mine" stage kicks in unprompted at about 16 months old. It can be earlier, it can be later, but rest assured, by 18 months they will have a FIRM grasp of what their possessions are. They are watching the world around them, and absorbing how it all worked. Perhaps Momma took the phone away with the words, "No, this is mine". It only takes one time of showing how 'mine' works, before you have a tiny possessive monster on your hands.

I wrote this, when I shared the meme:

"Yes, diffusing "mine" in toddlers and turning it into sharing and friendship is an uphill battle that must be won.

Adding an extra toddler into the mix, who is 6 months younger with no siblings brings the battle back, almost in instant replay. A little more than 1 month in, and I can honestly say, the end of the battle is in sight."

Then I realized that if I finished that train of thought on FB, I would have nothing to blog about. so I left the FB people hanging, and maybe even waiting to read what I am writing now. ;)

I watch a 17 month old little girl while her mother is working. Earlier in the blog, I named her Jumping Bean, and that name is going to stick for now. She has been with us for a little over a month, and has learned SO MUCH in the last month. She learned a few things before coming here, also. These things are what we struggle with on a daily basis sometimes, until she finally decides that it's easier to go play nice. This post is not about any of that though, just about "Mine!" battles.

My 2 yo loves her friend dearly, and looks for her and sometimes even cries for her when she is not here but there are times when she is so frustrated and mad too. She doesn't understand that Jumping Bean hasn't learned these hard lessons we just learned 6 months ago. Wild Boy doesn't understand that Jumping Bean is like him, curious, excited and full of energy. She wants to do everything he does, just like his little sister. Jumping Bean is always happy to come over, and curious to learn how to play like the other kids do. She can run the obstacle course like you wouldn't believe!!

As I said in my post on FB though, Jumping Bean has come a long way. One of the things I first noticed, was that everything in my house is "ours", and only the items in JB's diaper bag were truly HERS. She's 6 months behind Sarah in development, and in clothing sizes, so I have started her her own little dresser that I have filled with clothing for her to wear. Yes, she goes through 1-4 outfits in 9 hours. I have a backyard, and she is very active and curious. Did I mention FAST? I cleaned out the little girls' room last week, and pulled out a lot of the baby books and baby toys. I have 2 drawers in the living room dedicated to LR toys, and I am working on making the bottom drawer toys that Jumping Bean likes. The books went in a basket.

I defend all children equally here. I pay attention to who is playing with what toy with what toy, and I am already working on passing out duplicates of things to encourage good side by side and possibly interactive play. I have to keep things kinda fair, and yet the moment we have melt down and a tantrum happens all bets are off. Tantrums are not acceptable. I have taught many words and signs, I pay constant attention to baby body language and cues. I feed on demand, and I cuddle too. The basic needs are kept met, almost before the child needs it. I won't let any one child "take" from another, but I encourage them to share constantly.

Wild boy has learned to let the little girls play with the desired toy for a moment, because they only want it for a little bit, and then drop it and move on. He has learned to negotiate with them too. Instead of crying and screaming that a little one has taken his favorite flashlight, he now runs off and finds something that particular baby likes BETTER then what he had swiped from him. He kindly offers to trade them and happily bounces away with his prize. The baby girls see this kindness and sharing of belongings and self control of emotions, and learn to find ways to do the same. Jumping Bean and Flutters have been seen bringing drinks to each other, or retrieving favorite blankets for each other.

We still have battles. Some toys or joys will inspire the beginnings of WW3 if I am not present and on the ball. It is dangerous to my baby if things are yanked out of her hands, so I can have no lack of diligence on my part in this life lesson. Diffusing the situation, distraction, communication, and absolute boundaries WILL get your toddlers past this milestone in peer to peer interactions and friendships. It's our job to guide them through it, with kindness, love, and leadership.

Weekend Cleaning Project

The weekend was busy, filled with deep cleaning and laundry. Hunny started off the morning with mowing the yard and trimming the weeds. I coordinated the kids into tackling the tidy ups around the main parts of the house, and then took a trash bag in to the little girls' room.

The little girls' room hasn't been worked on by me for a few weeks, and it always amazes me how much trash and broken toys accumulates. I started pulling trash and dishes out of the mess. Hunny joined me and I lined boxes and drawers up on the bed, and we started sorting groups of toys into them. Soon the floor had been found from the bedroom door to the dresser in the far corner.

After all the floor was found, I sent the full bucket of little boy toys off to his room to be put away. I pulled 2 buckets of his toys out of their room! I packed away a full box of baby toys, a full bin of stuffed animals, a back pack full of dressup. Most of the bins and boxes went neatly into the closet, where they would keep mess from drifting back in.

Once the bed was cleared back off and stripped, we turned the dresser and rerouted the wires for the electronics, and then we turned the bed too. This gave the room a lot more space for the little girls to play each day. We made the beds with fresh sheets and pillowcases, and set up an empty laundry basket.

By the end of the day, the room looked amazing! The girls were excited to be able to see all of their toys, and promptly started exploring. =)

I love the first few days after a major clean, when we can all easily see where things go, and it is easy to see what is not a part of the room. For the first few days, even the 2 year old tries to help put things away neatly, and the 6 year old enjoys her space.

Major cleaning sprees like this take their toll on me though. I spent all of Sunday in bed, barely able to move, let alone able to chase little people. I am blessed to have an amazing hunny, and outstanding children that take up the slack when I am (rarely) out of commission. Today my back is a tiny bit better, but it is not yet back to nomal.

I do sprees like this on the kids rooms about once every couple months. This spree was more to condense and cull the trash and broken toys out. I wil continue this mission on each of the kids rooms an then all the living spaces too. My goal is to reduce our material goods by 50% over the next 12 months. I hope to have at least one yard sale and put the proceeds towards self suffiency.

But that is a whole different topic, for another day.

Making my daydreams real, one step at a time.

I have a dream, of living out in the countryside. I can see the neighbors house down the way, but I can't hear their conversations drifting through my yard in the breeze. I want to be able to build or adapt my home for my family, with my own hands. I want to be able to sustain my family with out having to run to town every day for milk, or be able to walk through the gardens and put together an entire meal. I want to see my children grow and thrive in the fresh air and sunshine, and learn the life lessons that only hard work and diligence can teach them.

I've started doing research, here and there. Pinintrest was a website I avoided like the plague, because I knew that it would suck me in, and I could easily get lost in the ideas and never make anything of it. After some reconsideration, and some self made boundaries, I have an account. I have discovered like minded people, sharing the websites and awesome ideas that I would need to plan the worlds best camp out, with other ideas that actually fit more in with becoming self sufficient. I've found various ways to build houses myself, above and below ground, and using the most simple resources!!

What limits did I set on myself? Well, I only get on there a few times a week, and only for about 20 minutes. I have to TRY ideas, and print out webpages and bind them for future reference. Why would I do that? Well, I figure being off grid might mean I am without internet for a while. I need to still be able to access the information that I am gathering, since my forgottery has improved so much over the years. I also have to review the ideas (here and on Facebook), so that later I know what worked and what didn't.

So, in trying the ideas, my garden is growing. I've several things to try on many aspects of the garden, for growing vertically, for pest control, for automatic watering, for healthier watering. This years garden is an experiment. I am hoping it goes well. The kids will love some of the summer projects... We will be building a "fort" of some sort or 3 *grin* We will be gathering cans to fill with water and paint black to make a solar radiator, we will dry foods in the HOT summer sun. We will go camping, so that they can try out the cool things that I've been working on and stashing away.... even if the camping is just in a friend's back forty.

It will all come together one day. I look forward to that day. I research a little bit more. I try more ideas and decide if they are keepers. I have to start living it now, if it's going to work later.